This resource was developed by people with lived experience of suicide loss. Everyone’s loss is unique, we hope this resource is helpful for you. We’d also like to acknowledge cultural differences in grieving. Please feel free to adapt the information in this resource for your own situation.
The death of a loved one is one of life’s most difficult experiences. If you’re here because you’ve lost someone you care about to suicide, we’d like to acknowledge your loss and the emotions you may be feeling.
Suicide loss is a traumatic event. The grief that comes with it may differ from other forms of grief in its intensity and duration. Feelings of guilt may occur along with ‘why’ questions. It’s normal to wish we could have done more to prevent a suicide.
It’s important to know, a suicide death is no-one’s fault. Suicide is never the result of one thing only. Suicide is complex, an outcome influenced by many factors coming together at one time.
New Zealand is at alert level one. Funeral and tangihanga are now back to normal with no restrictions.
There are no physical distancing requirements at level one. You can still play it safe by keeping a distance between yourself and people you don't know. Use your judgement.
Funeral Directors and those holding tangihanga are no longer required to keep records of those attending. However for contact tracing purposes, you may want to keep a record of where you've been, when you were there and who you’ve met.
People who are sick with cold or flu-like symptoms are advised not to attend.
Some restrictions still apply: people in managed isolation or quarantine cannot attend funerals or tangihanga. International travel restrictions are still in place.
This may affect you if the person you lost lived in another country and you can't travel there, or if people living overseas would like to attend a funeral or tangihanga in New Zealand.
For more information on this please see the Ministry of Health / Manatū Hauora website page for COVID-19 Deaths, funerals and tangihanga.
If for any reason you cannot attend a funeral or tangihanga due to COVID-19 restrictions, the venue where the funeral or tangihanga is being held may be able to supply a video link to watch proceedings online. Or you may like to create your own farewell. You can put up a photo of your loved one, say a karakia / prayer, light a candle, or share memories of that person.
Free call or text 1737 anytime to talk to a trained counsellor.
Lifeline – 0800 543 354 or free text 4357 (HELP)
Youthline – 0800 376 633 or free text 234
Samaritans – 0800 726 666
Please see the Mental Health Foundation website for more helplines