If you’re having thoughts of suicide, you are not alone. Lots of us have thought about killing ourselves and have found a way through. If you experience suicidal thoughts, 13 Reasons Why may be very distressing or triggering for you. This is understandable and you deserve help.
Talk to someone you trust (like a counsellor, kaumatua, friend or parent) or call a helpline such as Youthline (free call 0800 376 633/free text 234/email email@example.com) or Need to Talk? (free call or text 1737 to talk with a trained counsellor).
Most people who attempt suicide don’t want to die – they just want their pain to end or can't see another way out of their situation. Support from people who care about them, and connection with their own sense of culture, identity and purpose, can help them to find a way through.
Both seasons of 13 Reasons Why show Hannah's friends and family struggling to cope with her death.
Losing someone to suicide can be especially hard to cope with. It’s sudden and shocking, and often leaves people with questions they cannot answer. If you have lost someone to suicide, watching 13 Reasons Why may bring up painful or difficult memories and feelings.
Suicide bereavement – MHF information about suicide bereavement, including resources and links to support groups.
Supporting young people with grief – advice and information for parents, whānau and friends of young people who are grieving, including keeping an eye out, having healthy conversations and taking action.
After A Suicide – a website that provides practical information and guidance for those who have lost someone to suicide.
Youthline – advice and information for youth including counselling. If you want someone to talk to confidentially, webchat at www.youthline.co.nz from 7pm–11pm or free call 0800 376 633 or free text 234.
13 Reasons Why contain graphic and confronting scenes of rape and sexual assault. Most forms of sexual violence are shown, including rape, rape threats, sexual harassment, sexual bullying, sharing unwanted sexual images and coercion.
The characters who experience sexual violence do not consent or are unable to consent. As is the case with 90% of cases of sexual violence in New Zealand, the characters who are raped or sexually assaulted know their attackers.
These scenes may be traumatising to viewers who have been raped or sexually assaulted. Many viewers will know what it’s like to experience slut-shaming, abuse, harassment and even rape, and watching the show may bring up difficult memories or feelings. If you’re affected by the issues or are supporting someone who is, these following links may be useful:
Some of the romantic relationships in 13 Reasons Why (such as Bryce and Chloe’s relationship) are unhealthy. Unhealthy relationships can be very damaging and are sometimes dangerous. Often they involve a power imbalance and the use of threats, intimidation, violence and name-calling. People in unhealthy relationships often find it difficult to trust each other or resolve conflicts respectfully and constructively.
While watching 13 Reasons Why, you may have recognised the signs of an unhealthy relationship and wondered if a relationship in your life may be unhealthy. Help is available for you.
Sophie Elliott Foundation – for information and support about unhealthy relationships and dating violence (including a quiz to help you understand whether your relationship may be unhealthy).
Shine 0508 744 633 Free call helpline operating from 7.30am – 11pm, 7 days a week.
Common Ground – advice on how to talk about unhealthy relationships.
In 13 Reasons Why, bullying is shown to be relatively common and extremely harmful. New Zealand has the highest rate of bullying in schools in the developed world. Unfortunately, many people still think bullying is just a normal part of growing up, but that’s not true. It is never okay and can have long-term impacts on both the person doing the bullying and the person being bullied.
Young people who are bullied are more likely to develop mental health issues that may lead to an increased risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviours. Young people who bully others are more likely to drop out of school or perform worse academically.
If you’re being bullied or have been bullied, watching 13 Reasons Why may have made you feel uncomfortable, sad or angry, or brought up upsetting memories or feelings.
As with other issues, 13 Reasons Why gives us the opportunity to talk to young people about their own experiences of bullying – does it take place at their school? Have they experienced it? Witnessed it? Could their own behaviour be seen as bullying?
Pink Shirt Day for information and advice if you are being bullied, want to help someone who is being bullied or for further information about bullying.
Bullying Free NZ – information about preventing bullying for schools, parents and whānau.
13 Reasons Why shows young people using drugs and alcohol in a number of ways and for a number of reasons. In New Zealand, young people do use drugs and alcohol but numbers are declining. However, figures from the Drug Foundation show that 11% of secondary school students still use substances at a level that is likely to cause them significant harm.
Did You Know – everything (but not too much) Kiwi teenagers and their parents needs to know about common drugs in New Zealand.
DrugHelp – ready to rethink your relationship with drugs, start the change?