Tui

Depression has been part of Tui Ripikoi's life for almost as long as she can remember.

She estimates she was about 11 when it first started, when she became a ward of the state after her mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Tui says she didn't want to be in the places she was put.

"I was angry, and didn't want to be anywhere else but home," she says.

She also saw a lot of the treatment her mother was put through, which she says in those times was quite horrific.

"I wanted what they were doing to my mother to stop. I wanted to say 'that's my mother, you can't do that'."

Tui continued to experience depression as she grew up, until the time she was married, when it lifted for a while.

However, the worst was yet to come. Her husband was diagnosed as being bipolar in 1994, and shortly afterwards, took his life.

"That's when the depression really set in," Tui says. "I couldn't get out of bed. I smoked two packs of cigarettes a day."

She says it was whanau that got her through.

"My family were non-judgmental and very supportive. I remember saying to my sister that I thought I was going mad. She just said to me, 'no, you are just vulnerable, and we need to work this through with the family."

"My children and grandchildren give me a reason to get out of bed. Those little people are able to pull me through," she says.

Tui does not take medication for depression, but instead relies on the support of her whanau, rongoa (Maori medicine), and miri miri (traditional massage).

'It's pretty much just people that are my medicine," she says.

"The most important people to me are my whanau. If they are happy, then I'm happy too."

She also finds a lot of support at her marae.

"Maori people are not seen as being mentally ill, but rather as special people that need special care. That's where I get my strength."

She feels that dealing with depression is a personal experience, and it's up to the individual as to what type of treatments they choose.

It's still something Tui deals with all the time.

"It's a constant battle, but as long as I have all those family, especially my kids and grandkids, then I'm going to be fine."