Time to stand up for your children!

Next week is Pink Shirt Day, 14 April – which highlights that bullying, is not OK and won't be tolerated - so it’s a good time for me to ask the following question:

When are we going to stand up as a community and take responsibility for stopping the daily bullying of children in, and outside of, our schools?

The damage that is done to children by bullying, the constant fear of bullying, and the fear of reporting bullying, is not a small thing. It eats away at you. And let’s be clear about this, bullying is mostly just a euphemism for assault.

I am an everyday Kiwi parent of a teenage daughter and have had to deal with her being intimidated by two girls with a knife in our local park because they wanted her mobile phone, hit by thrown apples and other food, threatened outside the school gates, name calling and a friend of hers who was assaulted last year in the local mall.

I feel helpless and have lost patience.

With our schools:

• Saying they do deal with school bullying – when in actual fact they can’t see that there is a whole lot more that needs to be done.
• They think bullying is rare, but a lot of bullying is not reported to teachers because students are too scared of the consequences from of kids of speaking out. 
• Taking in students expelled from other schools is not a solution – it adds to the problem.

With the police:

• Saying they are too busy and that their hands are tied and “it’s too hard” because of the lack of resources.

With other parents:

• One mother put my child at risk by providing 13- and 14-year-olds with alcohol at unsafe party venues.

With the law:

• Which seems to have nothing to say about any of these situations.
• Where is the funding for the social services needed to bridge the gap between schools and police?

So this week I wrote to MP Tau Henare to let him know the terrible helplessness I feel. I said to him:

“The problem is we seem to protect youth criminals, we seem to want to look after them more than the victims. Schools are told they have to teach these children so their hands are tied, we need to help them so they are able to deal with these bullies, and if they know of bullying and youth violence by their students outside of the school, they can work with the police to be able to deal with this.  The police can’t prosecute as the offenders are too young, we need to change this… what do we need to do to make our children safer?  Do we have to wait until the incident in Morrinsville? If there is something I can do as a parent to get the ball rolling to help you as an MP, I will be there. I can start petitions, I can write letters, I can get support - you name it I will do it.”

STEP UP, TAKE NOTICE, DO SOMETHING
After I started writing this blog, I decided to talk to the school and police again. I think they are truly concerned, too - but they need more support; they need more resources and legislation, and the Government needs to step up and start taking notice. Why are so many children so violent, and what is being done for them? How can the law protect the victims?

Today, I am offering my services as a petition writer, school helper, peacekeeping advocate - whatever it takes to get something done about this serious and potentially life-threatening problem.

And I welcome others to join me - I can’t do it alone.

COME TO OUR COMMUNITY MEETING
There is a community meeting on 20 April at local MP Paula Bennett’s office, Great North Road, Henderson, 7pm, with MPs Paula Bennett and Tau Henare, asking if people feel safe in their streets. I am going to attend that meeting, and I challenge the local school principals and constables and other key members of our community and parents to attend as well.

I try to tell my daughter that I guarantee nothing will happen to her if she speaks out. Wouldn’t any parent want to be able to say this to their child and know that it is true?

NZ Herald article about another mall assault

NZ Herlad article about kids' misbehaviour rated No1 social issue

Keshlar Inglis, Parent

Ride Out of the Blue

A first: a first Ride Out of the Blue Blog, my first blog. 

More firsts: a first bike challenge for mental health in NZ, my first event. So I beg your patience. With so many firsts I’m bound to muck this up a bit.

Ride Out of the Blue is a 2,500km journey from Bluff to Cape Reinga to raise awareness of depression and money for the Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand to held provide resources for depression. I’m organising it because I love riding,

I’ve suffered depression, I’ve lost relatives who’ve suffered depression to suicide, and I can’t do nothing whilst New Zealand’s brightest and best young men commit suicide. 

But! Off the soap box. Ride Out of the Blue is about celebrating life. In the words of James E. Starrs, “Melancholy is incompatible with bicycling.”

Riding is brilliant.  Whether getting out to turn the pedals with friends, to sip lattes and talk about lycra, or to ride hills beyond my abilities and in doing so to put back into perspective what’s dogging me. I can think of no other activity that enables a balance of healthy body, healthy mind, as simply as riding.  

On ya bike!

It’s non-exclusive, universal, empowering. Get a bike.

Planning Ride Out of the Blue and training for it has been, is, a mammoth task: gathering support, commitment, putting myself out there as an event organiser and long distance cyclist – vulnerable moments as I'm not either, bothering my family and friends with constant updates about “the Ride”.

It’s happening now – in six weeks.  We have four committed riders, we have the support of the NZ Police, and we have raised over $4k.  We’ve made a difference and have the chance to make a bigger difference. 

Seriously exciting pursuit

It’s seriously exciting to be a part of this. One of our riders, Dave, has had some great press coverage: Ride To a Better Life

Providence has opened every door for this Ride to come about, despite the rain and the floods here in tropical Queensland where three of the riders live.The torrential rain has stopped any training, the floods have destroyed our cycle paths and, in my case, inundated our rental house. Check out the photos!

Now the sun is out, the flood damage is being assessed and repaired, and riders everywhere are back on their bikes. This weekend  Chris (one of our riders) and myself are heading down to Victoria to do the Audax Alpine Classic 250km and 200km. With little riding lately it’s going to hurt some.  But with alpine scenery around us, where else would I rather hurt – where else but New Zealand of course!

Alison Blyth, Organiser, Ride Out of the Blue

Mensline suspension

As someone who often receives requests for help from men in distress who are seeking information on where to go for help and support, I was very disheartened to hear the recent announcement of the suspension of Lifeline's Mensline, a national service that has been there for men for over 15 years.

We know that men in trouble are vulnerable and not good at reaching out for help, and Mensline was one of the few services there specifically for them.
 
You can hear more on this subject from Radio New Zealand's Nine to Noon programme with Kathryn Ryan who interviews world suicide prevention expert Annette Beautrais, and Mensline founder Warwick Pudney http://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/ninetonoon/20100304

In Australia this service is funded by Government but this is not the case in New Zealand, with Mensline being funded through charitable grants and public donations, and staffed by volunteer counsellors.

As Annette Beautrais says, there needs to be a commitment to on-going suicide prevention funding and the loss of this service is a set back to both the suicide prevention and mental health sectors.

I think it is essential that Mensline is restored and hope that Lifeline will be able to do so sooner rather than later.

Russell Tuffery, Information Officer, MHF Resource & Information Service